If That Hadn’t Happened……


IF THAT HADN’T HAPPENED:

If that hadn’t happened, I wouldn’t be sitting here feeling guilty because I was the last one to talk to you and I never had a clue.  I should have picked up something in the tone of your voice or in your  words that would have indicated what you were planning to do almost as soon as we got off the phone.

If that hadn’t happened, the rest of us wouldn’t be planning a trip to say goodbye.

If that hadn’t happened, I wouldn’t be so pissed off at you for not talking to me and telling me what was going on and what you were planning, when that had to be the point of your call to me in the first place….why wouldn’t you talk to me? Why didn’t you let me get you help, you knew I would know what to do and would have moved heaven and earth to help you.  Why didn’t you trust me enough to tell me?

If that hadn’t happened, I wouldn’t be missing you so much.  I wouldn’t be dreading every breath I had to take and praying that every one would be my last.

If that hadn’t happened, I wouldn’t be staying away from everyone because I can only hide what’s going on inside me for very short periods of time, and to those who know me really well, I can’t hide it at all.

If that hadn’t happened, I wouldn’t regret having made the promise that I made to the one person who has helped me most through all of this, the one person who has always had my back, the one person I believe truly cares about me.

If that hadn’t happened, I wouldn’t be feeling like this……I would not be thinking about jumping into the abyss.

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I Need a Job so I want to be an Alcohol and Drug Counselor – Not a Paperback Writer


My title is my homage to the Beatles and also reflects the silliness of my day so far.  But seriously, as I’m working toward getting my degree, at some point, I am going to have to have a job to pay for all of this schooling.  Since I want to go into social work, I thought starting out as a drug and alcohol counselor would be a great way of getting my foot in the door.  Cypress College apparently had the certification program, but I cannot take that there unless I want to mess up my financial aid.  So I have been searching for other ways to get the required classes for certification.  I started out with CAADE (California Association for Alcohol/Drug Educators), as they are one of the biggest in California and are also approved by the DHHS (Department of Health and Human Services).  This is their website: 

http://www.caade.org 

While looking around for information, I was led to another site that enables you to take unlimited  continuing education courses for one year for $74.99.  Their website is:  ce4less.com  

Now all I have to do is find an online course that will give me the necessary hours/training to become and A/D counselor.  It’s a process, but it’s a process, I’m definitely going to take.  Anything worth having is worth fighting for.  

Social Media is a Great Aid to Get Information to Many People Very Quickly


I will admit that I have become addicted to social media in almost all its forms.  This admission comes as I just turned in a paper for journalism in which I had to keep track of ALL of my medial usage (phone, text, Facebook, Twitter, TV, games, books, magazines, newspapers, etc) for one week.  On the seventh day, I had to GIVE UP ALL TYPES OF MEDIA for 24 hours.  The fact that I’m writing about it means I survived, but not without a lot of insight about myself.  I am on Facebook and Twitter every day.  On Facebook, I interact with friends, play one game obsessively and check out the feeds to see what everyone is up to.  Occasionally someone will post something that I consider worthy of sharing with everyone.  This is how I interact with people who live all over the world, whom I have not met, but some of them I feel closer to than some members of my family.  During my day without media, I had no clue what to do.  I couldn’t even study because I would have had to read.  I ran some errands, came home, slept a little, walked a lot that day and pretty much climbed the walls.  But during that day it hit me “Social Media in all of it’s forms is incredibly POWERFUL!”  When I write a blog and publish it the post goes straight to my twitter feed and straight to my Facebook feed.  Whether or not people chose to click on the links is out of my control, but with 515 friends in at least 8 different countries, I know I can count on several people reading it.

As far as Twitter is concerned, I’m relatively new to it and I only follow 120 people with only 20 people following me but if you were to look at who I follow, you will see it relates to this blog and what I eventually want to do.  If you like it, please follow me @CharleneEgizi.

Using both of these social media sites, gives me access to a much larger audience than I ever would have without it.  I have also noticed an increase in fellow bloggers following my posts, which is really nice because that automatically gives me new bloggers to check out and I haven’t read posts by any of them that I didn’t like.  Now if someone would just show how to get my blog featured, I would be grateful.

Since International Survivors of Suicide Day is coming up on November 23, 2013 (all over the world, if you want to find an event near you check out http://www.AFSP.org or do a Google Search.  There are events all over the world), I thought I would leave you with another astounding suicide fact.

 

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It’s About Time – Maybe……Depends on Whether or Not the ACA Gets This One Right.


I just found an article online from the New York Post (one of the few papers that I read that I give any kind of credibility to) that the Obama Administration is about to release regulations that will require insurers to cover care for mental health and addiction in the same way as it covers any other type of illness.  These rules will apply to almost all forms of insurance.  In my opinion, this is where it can start to get a little tricky; for example if Medicaid is excluded from having to cover these new regulations, it could be almost the same as having no regulations at all, as many people with serious addictions and/or mental illness cannot hold jobs because of their illnesses, therefore they do not have top rate health insurance in place.  We will have to wait and see once the regulations are released by the administration and scrutinized and over analyzed by reporters, congressman, senators, etc.  Overall, this is the ONLY thing related to “Obamacare” that I have been on board with.  Overall, I’m not a big fan of socialized medicine (for elective items), as it has been proven time and time again that it takes about 10-15 years of REALLY, REALLY BAD, before socialized medicine starts to become “tolerable.”  As it stands now, the roll out has been so botched up, that I find it hard to believe that come January 1, 2014, everything will be running smoothly.  In the meantime, please read the article in the New York Times below.  

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/11/08/us/politics/rules-to-require-equal-coverage-for-mental-ills.html?smid=pl-share

 

 

 

 

We Are Not Alone


No, this post isn’t about space aliens and whether or not they walk among here on earth, but that would be an interesting discussion if I could get enough diversity in opinions together in one room.  I think that in itself, might be a great form of therapy.  YES, my mind does tend to wander in all sort of strange directions.  Thankfully, my friends who know me really well, know my sense of humor and are still around….that says more about them, than it does me.  LOL.  

November 23, 2013 is International Survivors of Suicide Day.  There will be gatherings all over the world where people can offer each other mutual support and guidance on coping with grief.  Before my brother’s suicide, the only time I thought about the subject was if there was a story on the news or in the paper, and, most of the time, it was related to a crime of some sort, murder suicide, a mass shooting resulting in the suicide of the shooter, etc.  My response back then was probably somewhere along the lines of “They deserved it after what they did!”  I never made the connection between mental illness and suicide before my brother.  But, hindsight, always being 20/20, it is easy to see now, and that is the main reason why I have decided to do what I’m doing – going back to school with a Master in Social Work being the goal and working toward getting mental health awareness to as many people as possible.  

If you are in my area on November 23, 2013 and you have lost a loved one to suicide or if you know someone who has, please attend this meeting.  If you do not live in my area, hit the WorldWideWeb, search for Suicide Survivor Day and find a meeting near you.  It will be informative, supportive, and beneficial in many ways.  

 

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Journalism 110 – What I want to do when I “grow up.”


So, I have to do some blog posts for my journalism class, preferably discussing the job that I eventually desire…I must say I’m glad that there are some “older” adults besides me in my class.  Right now, my goal is to get a B.A. in Human Services and, ultimately, a Master in Social Work.  Somewhere before the B.A. is completed, but after I have taken enough of the “AA-T” requirements, I would like to take the required test to be an alcohol/drug counselor, that way I’ll have at least some income to help me pay for the graduate and post-graduate degrees.  Eventually, I want to somehow be involved with family survivors of suicide, which if you have read my blog before, you know is very close to my heart on a personal level.  The day after my brother’s suicide, I was connected with the With Hope, the Amber Craig Memorial Foundation, which is a non-profit focusing on teen suicide prevention through education and mental health awareness.  With Hope helped me get connected with a psychologist (who works a lot with family survivors of suicide) within 5 days for an assessment and I actually starting seeing the therapist, ironically enough on my brother’s birthday.  My therapist has been instrumental in helping me realize, among other things, that my brother wasn’t “crazy” just depressed.  

Anyway, since August 2012, I have been involved with the With Hope Foundation, and I think everyone needs to know the signs and symptoms of depression, which by itself can help to save a life.  Also, if someone talks about committing suicide, they aren’t just saying it to get attention…they are actually reaching out in one of the few ways they know now…DON’T IGNORE IT…TELL SOMEONE!!  Check out the With Hope website.  It has a lot of information, not just for teens or anyone with a teen, but for anyone who loves someone.  You may be surprised at what you learn in just five minutes on this website.  

 

http://www.WithHopeFoundation.org